Awakening.

  

Two days ago I set out for my longest run in a few months since coming back from my injury. The last few months have been filled with many life changes and adjustments. I started back training and planning upcoming late summer-fall races; which has motivated me even more than ever to get 100% healthy to reach my goals in running in the near future.

With that, I also left my full-time broadcast affiliated job to work at a golf course and do personal training in order to have more flexibility in my post-collegiate training. Some see that as a huge risk, for my finances and future broadcasting career. I see it as an investment. I love running more than a lot of things in my life right now and if you know me, you know I’m willing to give up almost anything to achieve the goals in my running career. Why not go after it now while I’m young, healthy and not married or have kids?

Exactly. So that’s what I am doing. I’m currently working my butt off, training and trying to get back to normal with  my running so I can compete at the level in which I KNOW I am capable of, and trying trust God completely with this journey who has blessed me with all of this.

I moved to my beautiful new apartment this past Friday with my best friend Kyle. That was quite an adjustment as well for me!  Another new start for me if you will.

So Sunday morning as I was saying earlier, I set out for a new park to do my long run at. I was excited to explore the new area and run further finally! I was feeling a little tired from moving the two days before and a little hot.

I had drank a glass of wine with my bubble bath the night before but I wasn’t too dehydrated or I would have waited to run in the afternoon.

I was only running 8 miles(for me that’s not a real long run!) Just coming back slowly with mileage build. And I had some almond butter and gatorade on the way to the trail.

I remember starting my run that morning, there was a soccer game or practice going on in one of the fields inside the park I was running at. The sun was beating down as I noticed a few walkers and people sitting on benches talking.

Somewhere along the way before mile 4, I lost consciousness. My memory of that morning right before the incident and the rest of the day following this are a bit fuzzy.


I now remember holes of memory about that morning and what I was told and what I remember now coming back:

I remember being in shock at my car shaking and numb. My head hurt and I was bleeding. My body hurt and I was confused and I didn’t know where I was.

I remember the face of a hispanic woman and a few others, I now believe they were attending the soccer game. I think they were asking if I was alright. I can’t remember that conversation.
I remember being at my car, Kyle texted me about cable getting set up. I immediately called him and asked where I was, I was scared, and hurt and I had no idea where I was.

The next thing I remember was paramedics and I can’t remember what they did or what they said to me. I can only make out a blurr of that. Then I think I remember Kyle’s brother standing by the ambulance door, his shirt was red I think.

I think Kyle, Candice-his gf and his brother took me to the ER in his truck.

They must have sped from the lake 45 minutes away to come find me. They said they made me describe what I was near and that helped them locate me.

I remember being at the ER and not wanting to get into the wheel chair and telling the nurse- “I am an elite runner, I can Walk!” lol…shame on me.

I can’t remember a lot from that either, but they did concussion testing and all and I was okay to leave with Kyle and his family but I needed to see a primary care to make sure I was okay in the days after.

The ride to the lake house was aweful, I was still confused and I didn’t remember I had moved the previous Friday and I kept asking the same questions to them apparently.

My head and body hurt so much coming off of shock finally. I got an appointment the next day at an american family care-one of the only open PCP’s on July 4th

I showered and crawled into the guest bed and slept for a few hours. When I woke, I was still in pain but hungry as ever. I ate two bowls of spaghetti then went back to sleep, still confused on a lot of things..

I spoke to my parents who were worried sick. Thanks to Kyle and his family, I was in the best hands.

I talked to my coach who was glad I was okay, not too much harm and my legs were fine. I talked to my boss who was the sweetest person ever to me(I was so paranoid I would get fired!!)

And I talked to the person who I thought I was “dating” unofficially. I remember having a feeling in my gut we had faught but I couldn’t remember a lot or details. So I asked because Kyle had my phone for me all day communicating to everyone on my behalf.

When I was in the hospital, I asked them what happened and if I was dating this person. My best friend and Candice told me, no. that we had ended things that thursday and we didn’t agree on something crucial, which I won’t get into here..

But I was confused and I didn’t remember, so I texted and asked. He told me that we were never dating and are not now.

I was still puzzled and foggy. So I went with it and passed out again.

The next morning I woke up and Kyle and Candice took me straight to the PCP. I got cleared after we retraced my steps as best I could. We came to the conclusion that-

I went for my run, somewhere at the end of mile 3-4 I slipped and fell on some concrete slabs that had a light stream trickling over with some mud making it slick. I remembered the snap shot when I woke from sleeping the night before.

I think I fell on my back, hit my head and neck and blacked out for several minutes as the time table of when I started my run, the duration of the run, and the time I called Kyle left about a 25-30 min gap.

I think when I was in shock, I made it to my car and got into my car and held my phone and contacted Kyle then. I can’t remember all the details today, but hopefully I can soon.

I’ve never been so scared or appreciative of life, reliable friends and God’s grace.

I know this is a small accident compared to many others have faced and I am alive and well. Just a little banged up and shaken.

But, that doesn’t stop me from taking a moment to process what happened and verbalize how much life really means!

Most of my memories are back, only a few before the accident and at the hospital are fuzzy and even a few days before. But, all of the “important” stuff has come flooding back within the last 48 hours..even the things I would have loved to have lost memory of.

The day after the accident, I woke up and the first thing I love to do is to read the Word of the Day in my bible app.

“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline”- 2 Timothy 1:7

I remember all of the dreams and prayers I had asked God for and prayed strength for the previous week. Reading this when I awoke the day after the accident gave me strength to get up, not feel weak, not feel sorry for myself for getting hurt, not feel betrayed or upset by being taken advantage of or lied to when my memory was gone.

But, NO, to get up and live the way the Holy Spirit made me to live. To be strong, to have power He gives us, to persevere in my Running from now on, being self-disciplined and joyful in my relationships, and to not be timid or afraid of anything.

I know this seems dramatic to some of you, but before my fall I was wrestling with some things with God I didn’t want to give up. I wanted to do things on my own time and ability. I’m not saying God makes bad things happen to you, but sometimes he lets certain circumstances occur in order to get your attention.

You may not agree with that at all, that’s fine. It won’t change what I think.

I may have fallen asleep and lost some things after my fall, but I’m absolutely awake and focused on my future at the moment. I know I’ve been blessed with the gift of running, life, health and an amazing group of friends and family that I need to be more of a joyful, positive influence on. I am so much more than a runner too, I can’t wait to live that.

It’s funny how even the smallest most instantaneous occurrence can totally revive your focus on your goals and where you’re at spiritually, emotionally, physically.

Not saying that this was a total “wake up” moment for me, I had my act together and all and do now. But I think it was a reminder for me to totally trust God that he’s got my back. That I may fall, but I’ll always get back up and I am stronger than my circumstance.

And if you do fall, it’s never too late to get back up and chase what you want and it’s never too late to trust God, he cares about your dreams too.

Sometimes we let irrational emotions, people or even in the moment circumstances dictate where we are headed and knock us off our real  focus.

Today, I’m still a little foggy and sore but I feel strong and motivated on what I want now. As far as I’m concerned, any negative thing echoing in my memory is forgotten.

Wherever you are in reaching your goals, you may experience doubt, something that totally shakes you, or people that fail you.

But that should never stop you from going after whatever you are seeking. If anything, it should drive you even further to do it. Do it for yourself. If you fall like I did, get back up, unshaken and don’t look back.

The finish line is always ahead 😉

Here’s a quote apparently I made my phone background sometime before the accident(I can’t remember when I put it)

Discipline is choosing between what you want now

and what you want most.

 

 

 

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