Goodbye Birmingham.

 

 I’ve been living in Birmingham, Alabama since January 2013. I transferred mid-year during my sophomore year of college from Kennesaw State in Georgia(where I am from) to UAB where I ran XC and Track. That was my life. My whole world was my team and school and running.

Then, I graduated in Spring 2015 and was released into the real world where I stayed in Birmingham and started working full time in production while trying to juggle training full time as well.

When I realized I wanted more than working 40 hours a week in a cold dark building, I left after seven months when I got sponsored by Skechers Performance for running(who I am no longer under contract with).

I knew I wanted to run and keep getting faster and devote more time to my training. I really looked at work as a way of survival so that I could run and compete. I know I’m not super-elite yet. More like a sub-elite pro runner. But I have big dreams and live my life the way I want for a purpose.

I started working part time and training “full time”. I continued with the thought that I would sacrifice my broadcast career and dreams for a few years for my running for now while I could.

I started working at a golf course- Robert Trent Jones at Oxmoor Valley; little did I know what a great impact that place and the people there would have on me. Then I got certified through AFAA in personal training in the fall of 2016. This was a great way for me to use my own fitness and over eight years of being a competitive athlete to share with other people.

Personal Training became a way for me to be used to bless other people, not just with showing them physical training but showing them love and kindness. I really feel like personal training is a way I can use my spiritual gifts in one place mixing my physical strength, encouragement, kindness and communication all in one to shower people who need it most.

Now, I’m about three weeks away from moving to Jacksonville, Florida. I’ve honestly been praying about this move for a little over a year shortly after my first “elite” race at Gate River(which I ran injured and didn’t shine as much as I had hoped..) I felt called to Jax, similar to the way I felt called to Birmingham upon transferring in college.

I’ve been in Birmingham about 2 years post collegiate now. I’m not married, no kids, no contracted full-time job. I have friends in Jax, a new and friendly running community with others to train with, blessed with hopeful and exciting new job opportunities already in place for me, and an amazing living situation God provided for me just when He knew I needed it.

I love Birmingham and I know I’m not the same Lauren I was when I came here from Georgia four years ago. I know I won’t be the same as I head to Jacksonville soon. I’ve been through so much in this city and met some of the most incredible people in my life here. Birmingham has so much I will miss and so much I’ll be leaving.

 

Things I’ll Miss about Birmingham-

  • All of my FRIENDS. Especially my running family here, collegiate and post collegiate. I honestly don’t talk to many of my teammates anymore from college. Regretfully, we’ve grown apart quickly and life happens so fast and everyone has their own little world to tend to..But I’ve developed several close knit friendships with many of the local running groups here in Bham that I will miss.

    I also have many great friends from college that I still hang out with and am still close with who I’ve known since I transplanted here. I have other friends and acquaintances I’ve met along the way through my journey here that have been constant in my life. (Y’all know who you are..Kyle, Derk, Sara, Lynne, Jordyn,Porter,Eli..just to name a few).

  • My RTJ FAMILY- Okay, so my golfers..my regulars. You guys literally made it possible for me to pay my rent, save up for this move and I’ve made some awesome connections and friends at the course. You all make me feel so pretty and loved and special, even just kindness and a smile on a rough day meant the world to me. My bosses and co-workers at RTJ, y’all showed me what hard work really is and how to adjust to circumstances that aren’t always in your favor. I respect you all so very much(in every area of work..cart boys, f&b, pro shop, cleaning,cooks). Working with all different personality types and backgrounds teaches you patience, humility, the importance of trust and kindness. And Erin, you’ve become like a sister to me; not just a superior. We are so similar yet different but I am so glad we’ve become good friends.<3
  • My YMCA Greystone Family- Andrea Pindroh has to be the most compassionate, patient, understanding fitness director and person on the planet. I am so incredibly grateful to have come under her watch and leadership during my 6 months now as a trainer at the Y. All of the trainers at my branch are amazing people with such diverse and rich attributes. Don and all of the front desk staff, Leonard the director, all of the members, and of course my CLIENTS!!! You have all impacted me more than you know and I have learned a lot from each one of you. I’m so blessed to have started as a new personal trainer at such a caring and rewarding place as the YMCA. It’s not just a gym, it’s truly a family and a culture filled with intent on making people better beyond a healthy and fit lifestyle.
  • My Starbucks– Greystone, no one will ever make an iced-white mocha with 6 scoops of matcha like you do for me on a rainy-busy Monday Morning in between clients or notice when I wear normal clothes. Y’all constantly save my life.
  • First Watch– Literally has become a brunch/post workout addiction and I am so happy Jax has one of these. But you’ll be my favorite always.
  • Avondale and SATURN– BY far, my favorite spot to hang out, be a hipster and sip local craft beer and make new friends.
  • Railroads– OK, so Jax definitely has it’s own railway system too…but something about driving past Sloss, sitting on top of Carrigan’s at night or driving to the golf course and hearing the CSX roar by..is just mesmerizing to me. I absolutely adore it.
  • All of my running trails- Oak mountain, Heardmont, Veterans Park, Jemison, Railroad and downtown by UAB. All of my memorized routes, I’ll have to make some new ones now.
  • The People and the City- Most people in Birmingham are very friendly and I’ll miss the familiarity of the people here. Also, it’s easy to navigate anywhere within 30-40 minutes. Homewood, Vestavia, Mountainbrook, Avondale, Greystone, Cahaba..ect. All the little niches are easy to travel to throughout the city and have their own charm.

Church of the Highlands- I started attending Church of the Highlands when I was at UAB and became a member and completed the growth track this past winter. I love Highlands and Pastor Chris Hodges is so down to Earth and is a great speaker. Highlands reminds me of my home Church where my family goes in GA-12Stone Church. I discovered my spiritual gifts and grew in my faith at Highlands. My only regret was not fully devoting my time and focus to serving while I was here, and not getting involved as much as I wanted because I was so “busy”..that’s something I’ll be talking about in my next post-“A Promise to Jacksonville”. One of my top priorities will be to get connected at Celebration Church and start intentionally planting seeds and impacting wherever I’m placed.

Being fearful to go all in or to not get too attached to people or put yourself out there because you’re too “busy” is a lie. I admit I did that a lot the past year and a half in Birmingham because I was afraid to get too close to people because I didn’t want them to hurt me like I had been hurt before or what if they let me down or didn’t like me?

I realize that’s hard for me to actually admit. It took some reflection and handing that fear over to God, because I know now that he can’t use me and work through my gifts to reach other people if I’m not willing to trust Him with that. That’s probably my biggest lesson going foreward with this move. Which brings me to the next topic!

What I’ve Learned from Birmingham-

  • Rely on yourself and God– Trust God and go where He leads you first. Trust me, just do it the first time and don’t look back. It will save you trouble, second-guessing and heart ache. Do things yourself and handle each day for what it is. Life can seem overwhelming if you look at the whole picture all at once. Take it hour by hour and conquer each day. Breathe.
  • Friends come and go– You can still love and care for people that come and then go out of your life but you don’t have to let it break you if they disappear on you. Everyone has a purpose in your life and some weren’t meant to be there the whole way. It’s okay, accept it for what it is and move on. The important people will stick around and be there in the end.
  • Be ambitious and don’t get wrapped up in what’s expected of you– If i’ve learned anything just from being a human for 25 years now it’s that EVERYONE has an opinion and will always have something to say about what you decide to do with your life. So..live in a way that pleases you and God. Anyone else’s opinion isn’t yours and it doesn’t matter what they think. I think that if you do something that goes against the norms or “cookie-cutter” societal preferences for today, that’s totally FINE. As long as your lifting others up and chasing your dreams and using your gifts, why does it matter how or what or when or where you do it?? Dream big and just DO IT already. It doesn’t matter what Bob on Facebook comments or what Linda gossips about. Don’t even be bothered as long as your focused and driven.
  • Don’t be afraid and don’t wait- I waited almost 2 years after graduating college to pack up and move to a different state because of new opportunities, prayer, a new adventure and because I was too comfortable and “afraid” of the unknown. Life is too short to wait for something you want. If you’re able, go for it. Tomorrow isn’t promised and good things don’t come to those who wait..you have to make moves and get after it if you want it, Now.
  • Don’t take people or anything for granted- Like I said, Life is a “mist”..don’t ghost your friends all the time(I know I’m horrible at returning a text). But seriously, you’ll miss your friends always bugging you to hang out or the casual acquaintances you make small talk with during the week or all of your normal people that are placed within your circles each week. They’re there for a reason, how are you leaving them..?

Things I’m Leaving in Birmingham-

  • Toxic Relationships- I’m not in any right now, thank the Lord. But I have been, and those scars I’ll have. The people, the hurt..those are in the past and I’m leaving that part of me here to stay.
  • My Friends and home- Well for my friends-Physically at least for now!! But my home will no longer be here, I’ll be making a new one. I am both nostalgic and frightened.
  • All the amazing food and local breweries!! Melt, Mugshots, Avondale, Urban Cookhouse, just a few of my fav cheat spots. 😦
  • Experiences- the good, the bad, the heartache, the scares, the victories, the defeats.

Overall, my four years in Birmingham, Alabama have been the most challenging, growing, and wonderful years of my life. I met some of my best friends here, had the most heart-ache, transitioned from a student to a full-blown struggling millenial “adult” here, fell in love with Running more here and became more independent and secure in my identity in Christ here, even alone at times.

Goodbye for now Birmingham.

 

 

 

A stoic heart and a call to Love.

Few things will make me more passionate than my relationship with Jesus or my love for running. One of those things that I’ve been innately blessed with is my protectiveness for others who are considered lesser or can’t or don’t defend themselves. 
Maybe it’s because I’m a twin who is one minute older than my brother. I’ve always been like a prowling mother wolf toward anyone I find out hurts or upsets my twin or anyone I’m close to for that matter. I know when something’s bothering him too, I can hear it in his voice even when I’m miles away in Alabama when we talk on the phone. I would drive to Georgia and happily take care of any problem Zach had if he told me to. I feel like it’s my duty in a way because I feel like I am strong and have been given a gift of discernment (spiritual gift we talked about at Highlands, growth track the church I now attend). 

Anyways, I wanted to write a little post addressing the heart of our society today and the disturbing level of desensitized hearts everywhere today that is shamelessly growing. 

With Valentine’s Day approaching, a day our culture has deemed a hallmark for celebrating “love” for one another and creating unfair expectations for both male and females.. I think this post is rather relevant for opening up our hearts and minds to what’s really in there. 

I would encourage you to be open when reading this and think about your own hearts and what your current pulse says. Are you a stoic heart? Do you feel empathy for others who are hurting? Do you care about others hearts or even think about what your own is saying right now? What’s it saying to you? Be real with yourself if not with anyone else.

The topic that inspired this-Body Shaming.

has to stop. 

I’m not trying to be overly sensitive and I know there is a fine line between “just joking” and going beyond that in a way that makes another person uncomfortable, or hurt. But sometimes a joke to you may not be funny to the person next to you. Maybe someone who hears or interprets what you say as hurtful or careless is going through something you can’t relate to or empathize with. Then it’s not a joke them, does that still make it OK because it’s just a joke for you? 

 I know my generation gets a lot of flak for being “snowflakes”- those of you who like to categorize everyone in the millennial generation or anyone who stops to think about another persons heart or feelings too. 

And that may be true, a lot of us are super sensitive and overreact due to being sheltered or helicopter parents or those kids that failed to launch and moved back home or live at home and don’t contribute at ALL to society.(NO, I’m not talking about those of you with financial difficulty or circumstances beyond your control).

Back to the shaming-

From all the lady gaga super bowl comments about her being “fat”..or Beyoncé’s weight gain recently-(who is in fact pregnant with twins);

 I’m a twin and I don’t know what kind of comments my mother may have had to ign or roll her eyes at when we weren’t born yet.

But body shaming can target any body size- big or small, male or female, famous or not.

 I’ve dealt with body shaming as a runner too from crude comments or scoffs on the trail, looking me up and down while I’m running or asking if I have an eating disorder just because I’m slender and look different than some people running or walking by. 

The fact is- you don’t know what the other person you’re ignorantly judging is training for. You don’t know anything about them more than your shallow comments so why project your own opinions onto someone because of the way you think they look? 

This makes no sense to me but I just wanted to say, be confident in your own image and if you’re happy, great. If not, change. But don’t let anyone’s comments or opinions of you change how you view yourself or what you do. Your body is yours, it’s a gift and you don’t live to make others happy with how you look. 

Also, I’m sure that someone with an actual eating disorder or body image problem might not think its funny or cute either.

I’m much more focused on how someone’s spirit looks than just how their physical appearance is..maybe that’s just me but shouldn’t we as a human race see each other for what we really are rather than the flesh we parade around in daily??
Bottom line here intertwined with body shaming being highly unintelligent, is that this culture we’ve bred has created a stoic heart if you will.

We walk around complacent, insensitive and unaware of what’s really going on in our own hearts. Then we call anyone who opposes this kind of mentality all kinds of names, filling them away as silly, insubordinate or discarding them from our circles of importance.

Labeling someone as a “snowflake” because they bring up a relevant issue that you deem as unimportant doesn’t make them weak or lesser in my opinion. Just different and that’s okay to disagree.

But importantly, how can we ignore our own hearts so long and forget what the spirit is speaking into us so much and then expect to connect and cultivate real, loving, lasting relationships built on trust and care for each other? It simply doesn’t work that way. 

Stoic, heartened hearts don’t see the damage they inflict upon themselves or others because they’re incapable of empathy. You know that thing that allows you to know what someone’s been through or just a “hey I know how you feel, I’m with you” pat on the shoulder or word of encouragement someone may vitally need to hear? 

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (‭Proverbs‬ ‭4‬:‭23‬ NIV)

If we don’t stop all of this senseless, meaningless mockery of one another it’s going to be too late. Words matter. Words either lift someone up or tear them down. There’s no grey area. Choose to be a light. Don’t say something just to say it because it’s amusing to you. That’s what a fool does. Be wise and loving! 

The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (‭Proverbs‬ ‭12‬:‭18‬ NIV)

I know this may have gone off in a different direction, but after reflecting and having great conversation with some friends today; I thought this would be a good post to remind us to love one another freely, without expectation, judgement, guilt or shame. 

Even if you think Valentine’s Day isn’t a real holiday, use this time as a refresher for your own heart. The biggest “gift” you can give someone/ anyone at all, is to love them unconditionally like Christ did and does forever for us. 

My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, (‭Colossians‬ ‭2‬:‭2‬ NIV)

We are called to Love. We are to love everyone, even those we don’t like, who have hurt us, who it’s hard to love. This isn’t easy, we make mistakes and it takes some time to come around to that. I’ve learned that so much this last year more than ever but if you accept and place Gods love in your own heart, that becomes so much easier because of the love you share through that relationship. 
Nurturing your own heart with the truth of the spirit and protecting your heart first allows you to love others. Until you get that right, you literally can’t love another person truthfully. 
You won’t be able to love honestly or freely the way God intends for us to or be able to accept his love- not the love that we “deserve” but the love that we need. Love was never about give and receive, it’s a choice we must make like Jesus did for us. You can’t do anything to earn it and don’t deserve it, but you can chose it and then you can share that with everyone you meet in how you treat them, what you speak into them and how you live. 

By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (‭John‬ ‭13‬:‭35‬ NIV)

2017-Prudent..we awaken from the ashes

Driving back to Birmingham Tuesday after a much needed Christmas vacation at home in Georgia , I reflected on my 2016. 

The good, the bad, the ugly, and the ugliest swirled around my thoughts as the rain tapped against my windshield.

 I began to break down in my head some categories of things I felt/experienced in 2016 and how I felt going into a new year with so much to look forward to.

As I stepped out onto the soft gravel, matted down after the shower; I felt like so much stress and weight had been lifted off of me. Joy flooded my legs moving back and forth as my mind toyed with all of the hopeful emotions surrounding the new year and what it means.

What I learned in 2016

  • Trust God. His plans are perfect, they may not be your plans or your timing, but trust Him and you’ll be rewarded.
  • Fear isn’t real. Fear is an irrational emotion. Choosing to not act or go after a dream because you’re afraid you’ll fail or won’t be good enough is robbing yourself and wasting your time.
  • Waiting never gets you there faster. Putting something off won’t make it go away, especially if it’s something important. It just brings anxiety
  • Doing things to please others is good and should be done, but not at the expense of your dignity or your dreams/desires. Don’t live to please someone who doesn’t value you or respect you. Leave them behind, even if you “like” then. Weigh your true pros/cons. If it doesn’t add up, leave and don’t turn back.
  • Good things take time. It took me a year basically to save enough money, have enough time, & to fully commit to my career change to become a personal trainer. Guess what, I got it done. Stay focused and don’t give up it’s important to you, you’ll make it happen sooner or later.
  • Grit. You gotta have some grit and backbone because life won’t always be sunshine and butterflies. When you’re tested, hurt, fail, betrayed, left, depressed or lonely- you need to be strong because sometimes you only have yourself and a God who is that strength. Get back up and don’t cry.
  • Believe in yourself.Sometimes, you’re the only one who does and gets you.  At the end of the day, who are you really trying to please?
  • Be confident in your abilities and never stop growing or learning. Life isn’t meant to be comfortable. That’s called surviving. Do more.
  • Do it yourself. Don’t depend on anyone but yourself to get you where you need to be. People aren’t perfect and neither are you, but you know you’ll be there for yourself.

What I’m leaving behind 

  • Stress,anxiety,worry, fear- that I’m not good enough, not strong enough, not smart enough, won’t have enough money, impress the right people, please everyone, do what God has planned for me. I know I will still have things that cause those emotions but I’m going to react and handle them differently by completely trusting what God has for me through prayer and just being joyful throughout everything.
  • “Too busy” for family, for friends, for being kind and taking time to show that every #Onematters I regret that I was too busy this year for some of my friends and family who needed me or people I could have impacted more if I slowed down a little.
  • Negativity!!! Not gonna invite it or entertain it. That’s that.
  • Excuses– for anything. Own it.
  • Putting myself second for any man or friend that doesn’t value me and treat me with the same level of respect and dignity.
  • Debt. I don’t have much & I am poor right now but once I start having a more stable income and actually saving money, I want to make sure I invest it in the right places.
  • People. Anyone that doesn’t have the same heart for being a light to others, any unhealthy human leach.
  • Doubt. Of myself or my faith.

What I’m taking with me to 2017

  • Faith in ChristI’m not perfect but I serve a God who sees past that and loves me the same every day. I need to be closer to His word and to spend more time in prayer & the word to become more like Him & show other people I interact with His love and joy he’s blessed me with. 
  • JOYI’m going to be joyful when I wake up, if I’m sick, if I’m well, if I’m at work, running, running late, sad. I know there will be struggles again but I’ll remain joyful and know that I can still be used to shine light and love despite my circumstances.
  • Being presentactually being engaged in conversation with people when I’m with them. Not being impatient or flaky with friends, family, clients, or anyone I’m with. I want people to know they matter and to bless them. That means being there for them! 
  • LaughterI want to LOL and smile more than ever this year and have fun and enjoy life no matter what this year brings 
  • NEW CAREER!!!! Did I mention I just got a job as a personal trainer at the YMCA greystone campus?! Woohooo!!! I’m so incredibly extatic and I’m going to devote all of myself to being the best personal trainer I can be for my clients and constantly keep learning and growing! 
  • New FriendshipsI’ve made so many new, inspiring friends this year and I am so blessed! I can’t wait to plant more seeds and strengthen bonds I’ve made this year and make new ones. I love meeting new people and hearing their stories. 
  • Serving I know my new career is a way for me to serve others and I want to be more of a servant leader in all aspects of my life. I really want to make this year more about others and less about Lauren. Putting myself second for someone else to grow and be blessed is actually winning. 
  • Openness– to learn more, to say yes and go out and have some fun(not crazy drunk fun) but to new experiences and to travel and learn more about people.
  • RUNNINGduh. But really, who knows where running will lead me this year..hopefully heathy!! & currently flirting with the idea of bumping up to the half marathon race this year competitively!!!

Okay, I know that was a lot . But 2016 was undoudbtedly the most difficult year for me on all levels. That’s set me up for a very pivotal, exciting and hopeful 2017.

I’m stronger, wiser, more patient, more obedient in my faith and more proud to be a female than I ever have been.

No, I don’t have a husband or any children to brag about  yet-but I’m content with that for now.

I’m not lonely or bitter or searching at all actually right now. I honestly feel that at this point in my life right now that God is using me to do other things with the gifts I have.

I know and trust that when God’s ready for me to be with someone who loves Him more than me and values my heart above my flesh, I’ll know.

Right now, if 2017 goes without a single date I don’t think I could be much happier. lol but seriously..

 I know some people can’t fathom that or cringe at the thought! but you can’t be happy with anyone if you’re unhappy alone. & I’m pretty happy with my life going into the New Year now! Dating just isn a goal for me right now.:)

Back to the female comment

In 2016, I became surrounded by a lot of new female friends and coworkers(more than ever) because other than teammates in college, I have a lot of guy friends.

No, I’m not a hoe. Chill. I just grew up with all brothers and I’m sarcastic and kind of a “bro” and not a “typical female” as some say.

Anyways, I’m excited to be surrounded and inspired by so many incredible women lately. I am certainly a proud feminist and I have a feeling that for some reason 2017 will be a great year for women!

 Women empowering other women and promoting equality instead of unjust, oppressive comments or actions is true feminism.(no not men bashing. That’s not what feminism is! I’m sure I’ve already lost the egotistical shovanist a few paragraphs ago anyways)

My Goals for 2017

  • Grow/excell in my new personal trainer career & be the best I can be for my clients! Learn more each day
  • Become financially stable & save money & no debt!
  • Be a better servant leader in my community
  • Empower women
  • Spend more time growing in my faith in Christ and acting on that
  • Be a better listener and supporter of my friends and family
  • Be more patient & show everyone they matter
  • Bump up to the half marathon in my running career and get to the next competitive level! Handle more pain..
  • Break 17 in the 5K!
  • PR for my road 10K!!
  • Stay healthy running!!!(injury free)
  • Learn new recipes and maintain healthy lifestyle
  • Make new friends!! And go out more!
  • Travel and enjoy LIFE
  • Relax and know what rest is!

2016 as my last post detailed- was the hardest year across the board for me as well as many of you too. 

2017 offers us HOPE & excitement for chasing down our dreams and becoming better versions of ourselves. 

Let’s leave any negative emotions, circumstances & people that don’t line up with our visions for this year in 2016.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! (‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭5‬:‭17‬ NIV)

I wish everyone of you nothing but courage, happiness and blessings for 2017!!<3

2016-“Bye Felicia” Year.

I think it’s safe to say on everyone’s behalf…what an absolutely braggadocious, dreadful year it has been for many, many reasons. Literally every time we thought it couldn’t get much worse, guess what? It did tenfold.

Across the board, most of my friends, family, and anyone I’ve personally talked to are glad to have made it to see the light of the hopefully approaching year 2017. Seriously, the glimmer of 2017 can’t come soon enough. We need it like yesterday.

This year has been the most incredulous struggle for us all. Starting from the joke of a political race we had that painfully dragged on this year and ultimately got us NO WHERE headed into 2017, to the constant worry of freaking WWIII starting around the globe between crisis rising in Syria, ISIS threats, China being sketchy AF and Russia-well being Russia. And of course here in America, we’ve had our own dramatic problems exploding so much over the top this year that it feels like we can barely stand each other anymore!

And nothing is safe to have an opinion on anymore or a civil disagreement because someone will no doubt, be offended beyond the point of reconciliation(on either side).

I know that things could not have gotten much worse and I checked out mentally early on this year. 

I hate to sound so jaded or like a careless, typical millenial but I’ve just gotten tired of alllll of the BULL SH*T. And in the midst of all of the political, global BS I actually had my own personal tsunami wave of crashing BS to deal with. “Wave after wave”, as it felt this entire year.

Here’s a link to remind yourself of all of the world’s problems too:

2016 year recap in photos from USA Today

There has been more complacency, lack of regard for human life, lack of genuine kindness toward others, killing, racism, sexism, selfishness, and overall corrupt human behavior from across the globe shoved into one year..More than I think we could handle.

Now I’m not saying we all need to have a pity party or cry or freak out and keep spreading negativity and hate. NO.

Let’s Be Better. Let’s do something. Do something where you’re at NOW with what you have and your heart. Kindness, empathy, compassion, selflessness, love?? Those things are all free and guess what?

YOU ALREADY HAVE THEM. You choose to use those tools everyday. Don’t wait to start waking up on the right side of the bed on January 1st in a week. Start NOW!

Set up positive habits and a loving mindset wherever you are now!

Even if 2016 is almost done going down in flames for you; it is for most of us and that’s okay. Don’t burn with it. Watch your problems fade and move on, focus on the good you’ve been blessed with and carry it into 2017.

I don’t know about y’all but 2016 has been the most “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” kind of year in my young-adulting/millenial life so far:

  • I left my “safe” 8-5PM fulltime/salaried but underpaid job- huge risk. Uncertainty for income going foreward, what would I do now? More time to train and RUN? Yay!! What will society/my family/friends think or say about me?! *gasp* doesn’t fit the mold.
  • I got sponsored by Skechers Performance & started training more and truly devoting myself to my Running..then I got INJURED for the first time ever(like seriously take time off injured.) Depressed, out for over 6 weeks, scratched races, setback in spring/summer training.
  • Finally accepted being single and not needing/wanting to talk to my ex who I was hung up on for the longest time. It hurt to accept that sometimes people won’t respond the way you do or love you or treat you the same just because you do. And it’s not right to respond with negativity or hate, that’s immaturity. Move on & be happy(is it better to settle and have anyone at all just to be..? Not for me sorry.) 
  • I started to change careers and really believe all of the encouragement I got to become a personal trainer to help others believe in themselves too and to help them train their bodies and reach their goals!(so incredibly excited and it took me almost a whole year to get certified and pass my exam between running 50-65miles a week, being a poor adult, and working my butt OFF but I did it and landed my new job I start in January at the YMCA! Praise God)
  • I moved into a new, nice apartment with my best friend Kyle!(easiest decision of the year, hardest financially on me working the majority of the year part time!! While I invested my time into my training and prepping myself for my personal trainer career)
  • I fell and hit my head, passed out, got a concussion and lost my memory on my first long run the day after moving into my new apartment in the summer. Welcome home bitch!
  • Oh and this waste of time guy I was “talking to” for like 2 weeks in the summer-lied to me and said we never dated after I lost my memory and was concussed. Real f*ck boy. 2016 was full of those and fake friends too. 
  • I became the poorest I’ve ever been.literally paycheck to paycheck, struggling the most and having anxiety not because I’m bad with my money but I just don’t have a lot right now but I know with my new career I’ll be fine. This year was really hard on me financially learned a lot and grew up and faced new responsibilities. Sink or swim!
  • Ive had more car trouble in the span of 2 weeks thank anyone I know. I’ve had to buy a new tire. Bought a new battery after being stranded at work. Not one human offered to help me at the summit as they went about shopping. Cheers mankind thanks. Then a week later, discovered a tiny nail in my left rear tire. Had to buy new breaks and get all of this fixed Christmas week before coming home to see my family in Georgia. 
  • Regretfully lost touch with some close friends and found out the hard way who is actually there for me. Really hurt by some friends who totally dropped the ball on me but I grew up from that real quick this year.

I know I just highlighted a lot of what may seem like negative experiences from my 2016 and I’m not saying that the whole year was bad and I didn’t have any blessings. Of course I did and I’m even more thankful and hopeful going into 2017 for that. 

Because of the immense amount of stress, uncertainty, fear, physical pain, relationship turmoil, emotional struggle and change I went through this year; I’m more confident and assured of what I’m doing now and ready to go after 2017 with everything I got!

God has a great way of showing us that we are capable of much more than we feel. Just when I felt like I couldn’t take much more this year, something would happen that would challenge me, frighten me, piss me off or just flat out depress me.

I often just sat there not knowing what to pray or even feel like talking to God. But I know He knows my heart.

Then, I would remember every time before when I thought it was too much. God always made a way for me and strengthened me.

I was tested in so many ways this year and made the most uncomfortable I’ve ever been. But that’s how God grows us and we’re almost there. We have a few more days left in 2016. Let’s turn it around and make them count.

Joy.

   

 

December 10th, 2016.

It’s finally cold outside, appropriate for the beginning of winter this time of year here in Birmingham.

I got home after an early, cold, morning easy run and then work all day.

Saturday- the end of one of those weeks where it feels like everything that could have gone wrong…did. You kind of feel aloof to anything else that could possibly pop up. Not surprised by much now anyways.

I stopped by Trader Joes before heading home. I grabbed a cheap california roll, a two dollar bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon, and a fresh loaf of an olive-demi baguette for dinner.

I had a lot on my mind after such an emotionally, spiritually and physically draining week. And let’s face it..my bank account was getting really scary..like life alert, tragically depressing scary.

I had come to the end of the 2016 year at a pivitol, transforming time for my life(which I will in detail, talk about in my next “end of 2016 on to 2017 hoorah!! post”) and really seemed to be feeling the weight of everything in the past year hit me at once.

At least that’s basically how I felt after this week..that I had been climbing the highest, cruelest, most relentless mountain and I’m almost to the top but I’m standing on a ledge right before I get to the top and I am just fatigued and ready to be there already!!!

Anyways, I know your all so curious about my 2016. Just be patient and read my next post. I’m saving all the juicy tidbits for that!

As for this last week- I have felt super tired from training(as most of you know, I’m a post collegiate/somewhat elite distance runner currently for Skechers Performance seeking to improve my times!!) and increasing mileage. All of that is going great but this week I’ve felt extremely tired while training, in part from the emotional stress lately..and so I’ve decided to cut any/all December races to focus on getting my life together and plans set for 2017 and just train through this month.

The “root” if you will, of my distress stems from this career change that I’ve decided on and honestly feel 100% supported by the Holy Spirit in this one! A week ago, I passed my AFAA certification to become a personal trainer(I am also preparing a whole blog to tacle that story too, be patient people I’ve had an avalanche of a year! lol seriously.)

This could not have come at a better, more needing of hope time in my young adult life. For the past few months I’ve been living pretty scarce..paycheck to paycheck. And I know, it’s my choice to live the way I do and not work full time and devote my ass to a desk for 40 hours a week and try to cram 60-70 miles a week and train like an elite athlete too, I get it.

I have been working part time, trying to survive and have more time to train for my own benefit(which it has, I’ve PR’d in my road 5K and 10K this season under my new coach-Brock) and also I needed more time mentally to study and prepare for my AFAA Exam to become a personal Trainer(finally..I’ve been praying for this dream and making small changes for this for the past year).

So, as you can gather it’s not been easy spreading myself into a financial pretzel and barely skating by if you will for the last months in order to “have time” to plant these seeds for the dreams that I want. BUT-like anything worth it..cliche I know, stay with me. it’s not easy.

I passed my exam, I’m about to start work at an actual gym in addition to my part time job which I adore-at Lilly Pulitzer. And my training is in a great spot going toward the spring season as long as I stay smart and listen to my body.

This past week was exceptionally stressful just because of mainly the financial strain I’m in(which I know I put myself in, not by carelessness or spending frivolously but in my mind-sacrificing more time to do what I want to create room for what I’m going to do soon). 

Last night, I argued with the one human I respect and value the opinion of most on this Earth- my father. My dad, like any dad wants what’s best for their kid. So when my parents visited last weekend and I confided in them my current situation and my fears- they of course worried and wanted to help.

My dad and I got into a “serious adult conversation” about life(we’ve had many of these this past year..) and my dad told me, “adults don’t do what they want, adults do what they have to do”. He’s right. But I told him to trust me, that of course I don’t want to live like this forever and I know God is using this and has a plan for me.

I fully believe, even after the stressful, reflective and fearful week I’ve had where I’ve been worried, tempted to give up on my dreams, misunderstood and tempted to fall back into old habits and unhealthy relationships that have conveniently appeared just as I’ve felt weakened; that my faith that God is with me and God is for me has not once been shaken.

You may feel the weight of every single thing “crashing” around you but you can be strengthened and feel true Joy from the Holy Spirit within you.

A reoccurring whisper I’ve felt throughout this week, even during uncertain thoughts is- “Wait, not yet”.

I’ve felt God’s presence with me the whole time, reminding me of his timing and to fully trust Him, that He will provide for me and show me when something is right.

In my career, in relationships and when I feel impatient or discouraged for being alone or feeling alone at times I’m reminded to wait, and it’s always worth the wait for what’s good..

So when I got home tonight, feeling tired, emotionless at this point, and freezing; I shed my clothes, took a hot shower as a swirl of jumbled thoughts and questions flooded my mind..

I sat down, lit a favorite candle  and knelt by my bed just asking for God’s presence. I grabbed my bible and read from Mark 14. The last Supper-

22 While they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying, “Take it; this is my body.”

And so, I took the Olive loaf I had gotten at Trader’s. I broke it and prayed over it for God’s blessing and that everything that I did with my body would reflect His and would serve Him this year, not turning back to anything.

23 Then he took a cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them, and they all drank from it.

So I took the red wine I had bought and prayed that Jesus’s sacrifice for me would remind me that nothing I’m going through is more than that and that nothing can separate me from that. His grace is new every day, and that I should feel Joy in that.

24 “This is my blood of the[a] covenant, which is poured out for many,” he said to them. 25 “Truly I tell you, I will not drink again from the fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it new in the kingdom of God.”

26 When they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives.

I smiled as I eat the olive bread after reading “they went to the Mount of Olives”..

I looked up and saw Joy, literally. There’s this wooden piece on my vanity mirror that was attached to it, hanging loosely when I bought it back in July. It reads, “Joy”.

I’ve almost made it out of 2016, not unscathed, not perfectly, but not completely broken. I’m faithful and excited going forward. Even with feelings of loneliness,tiredness, worry, and frustration exploding from the whole year onto the last week, I can’t wait for what’s to come, even if I don’t feel like I have much to offer with myself right now.

 

To the woman that says-“I quit!” 

  

Tonight while I was at the gym finishing up my strength training circuit a woman around my age was sat on the bench behind me with half her earphones hanging out of her ear.

I noticed she was staring at me in the mirror. When I placed the weights down, she asked if I was an athlete. 
I told her I ran for UAB but now I’m running post collegiate and running for Skechers performance. 

She shook her head and told me that I had an amazing body. I was grateful for her compliment(I work my ass off!)

Looking down, she said she could never do that..

I quickly replied, “of course you can!! It takes a lot of hours and hard work but it doesn’t happen over night”. 

I continued finishing my circuit but my mind was bothered by her comments and complete self doubt.

I thought about how many times I had compared myself to others too.

Especially in my sport, it’s so easy to compare yourself to someone else’s running ability or PRs.

If you’re a woman it’s even more pressure. It’s not enough that we face the unrealistic fantasies that men expect of us on the reg but we like to tear down and belittle our own kind much more.

STOP.

Stop comparing yourself to another person who is on a different journey, has different goals and is only in a different spot in fitness or whatever category of pursuit you chase.

Do you know where I would be now if I had let every negative thought of comparison enter my mind dictate my decisions in my running or what I decided to do in my life??

I can tell you I sure as hell wouldn’t be where I’m at now or headed where I know I’m going!

I know I’m not as fast, or talented
or strong as some of
my competition-yet.

But I can tell you that I have the faith in myself and what I’m blessed with now to go after what I want and I know I’ll be there some day.

Who cares where someone else is or what they are doing.

They are not you. 

There will never be another “you” so embrace yourself and love who you are and believe that you can do what you say you can do.

I really wanted to lovingly slap that girl in the face and look at her and tell her that SHE has an amazing body and she is capable of what she decides her mind to tell her. She just didn’t believe that yet.

I hate seeing discouragement and giving up. It’s like a disease.

Last weekend I ran the biggest race of my life so far- the USA 15K championship Gate River Run in Jacksonville,FL. 

It was my first elite race in Skechers uniform and the longest race I’ve ran so far and I was injured.

I could have scratched or decided not to finish. 

But quitting is a word I hate. I hate hearing it and I sure as hell wasn’t going to do that!

I was going to crawl through the finish if I had to but I was determined to finish the race even if it meant a bad time for me.

I just don’t like giving up and I don’t make a habit of it.

Maybe that’s my competitiveness seeping out but I can’t stand for anyone to feel that way about themselves when there’s already enough hateful people to do that for them.

The young woman in the gym took out her head phones and said, “I quit. I can’t do this”. And shrugged her shoulders and left.

You know what, she was right.

No, she couldn’t do it because she chose not to believe in herself right then.

Sometimes we need encouragement and as women we should be understanding and supportive of that. 

But really..as humans we need to love and rally around each others dreams as well.

Don’t let another persons success ever stop you from reaching your own.

I know it’s easy to do but that’s just selfish human nature. You can chose not to act on that.

Instead, be so extremely focused on reaching your own goals and improving yourself that anything around you just becomes noise and not a distraction.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well

-Psalm 139:13-14

Grammar Nazi

  (Apologies for the rash humor)

 Okay,

I know that I am not always perfect with my own grammar, especially if I’m in a frantic rush.(also the iPhone does a great job screwing my sentences up on here!) 

But today on my lunch break I couldn’t let this one pass me up. 

As I was standing in line at smoothie king, I noticed a white board with some pictures and a sentence that really annoyed my OCD:

“I hope your day and smoothie is awesome!”

  I waited patiently in line and I finally couldn’t take it any more. 

When I got to the counter, I asked the guy behind the cash register if he noticed anything wrong with the sign.

He replied, “I see everything wrong with that sign”

So, he handed me a pink marker and told me I had permission to fix it.

I then proceeded to the white board and gave a brief lesson on singular and plural sentence structure. “Is” and “are” are both auxiliary verbs of the root-“to be”. The sentence was plural with the two nouns used so I felt this was right.

In other words, you must use ” is”for singular sentences and “are” for plural!

(Blame all of my language arts teachers and literature professors..and maybe it doesn’t help being in broadcast)

I crossed out the word “is” and replaced it with the correct form-“are”:

“I hope your day and smoothie are awesome!”

I felt so relieved that no one would have to endure the torture I did while standing in line. 

As I happily frolicked to my car, the gentleman that was behind me in line grinned and laughed.

I asked him if I was being rude and he said- 

“No it was cute!”

LOL crisis averted everyone. 

Just another day in the life of Lolo saving the world one verb at a time. 

Have a blessed day y’all!

Now I can run my track workout tonight peacefully knowing others are learning more everyday too.