My poetry

These are just a few of my recent poems. Feel free to share your thoughts and annotations. Most are in free verse. I like the raw emotion that comes from the soul that way. It’s untouched by anything but our own thoughts

To bleed or flee

If everything is temporary, why do we try to make it so permanent?

Nostalgic about a place not yet been.

Afraid of falling into or not at all?

Things, people, plans, rules.

They fade, we die.

Nothing lasts so why do we try forever?

I would rather cut off in the beginning than have it stripped away at the end.

After all the work, the memories, the feeling. For what?

Is it better to feel nothing now or feel every second just to wash over you in darkness?

Which is fearless? To risk or to fake.

Life it takes, this whole journey through.

I guess we will see soon.

To bleed or flee?

I’ve been here a while now, get out while you can.

Feel

hurting is not real,

feeling is not always true.

legs turning over is real, strength pushing muscle forward you can feel.

of body not mind.

emotions, often lies of what lies beneath.

do not dare come near, what this heart pounds on to hold dear.

Run with what you know is here, not what begs a promise of feel.

Mammoth, I miss you dearly 

Mammoth, I miss you dearly
Running through your wilderness, below skies seizing every path for days.

Snow covered mountains, sleeping giants bigger than any being I could ever dream of.

Your valleys sinking vastly deep.
Disappear like the hearts I learned of there,
in summer nights beneath the stars clear show.

Your friendship longing, I dared capture in my caving heart there.

Forever you stay with my soul, deeply woven in a love that grows bare.

Never will I forget your lessons breathed in me, that mountain air..

Enchanted by a lake of convicts to see my reflection, changing ever so.

Above the moon..

7,000ft. a world of its own above earth’s petulant problems below.

Hot springs natural, and wild dreams of dancing with wolves and howling with the trees that come to life at night and stare.
Hard to breathe, your forsaken wilderness leaves us at its mercy to test.

Friends born together for this infinite journey,

we stagger to keep up with each step.

Lost in this desert, trees spinning above, we lift our plank every mile until we reach the rest.

Brought to my knees, leavin you behind me..

The longest ache I’ve felt, to let go of you.

darkest night I’ve had, deepest leap I regret.

I’m still in love with you, this place.

A hope lingers still to see your face.

Mammoth, I miss you dearly.
Winter Solstice

Blue eyes turned to grey.

The days pass early and nights come to stay.

Snow tickles the ground, not a touch to feel, no sound.

That bridge lies frozen over, nothing to turn back to now.

Onward we escape into New Years reign.

Begotten by this transfixed heart, it waits.

Cold and bare but sure to come alive again,

Once I’m there.

Almost everything burned down behind me

But I held on once more, a tear..I no longer care.

Elevated by submissive, delicate feminine light.

A shift in energy, my spirit quakes.

Same beckoning cycle the moon goes round,

A new horizon to lead me for now.

No more. No more pleading, I know what I must do. Never will I bow.
Flesh 
Denying it- agonizing at best.

A cannibal resisting its fixation..
Sourly brooding to yourself as night rips open the flesh so ripe to taste.

Unfathomable guilt to come giving in,

just a little..a reasonable trade for soul.
better pretend nothing happened,

walk away unscathed, teased in trans.


Hypnotic.Erotic rhythm, escaping uncontrolled.
Appears at the most opportune times,

Like a lion stalking it’s prey..
better to feed, relieved..

this flesh.
First Quarter

New light shown above, tilted.

A call to act. No more waiting, done waning.

Half asleep, half awake, a plunge to take.
Reborne to new light, fleeting memories leave only callous bruises now.

days lingered after new moon, I’m not the same at all.

Hard to recall what’s behind,

memory wiped clean, force myself to breathe.

Once i’de rather feel dead than trusting any last thread..
Rising now, healed and transformed.

Not afraid for what’s ahead, curious.

Beckoning..not dreading this transfiguration.

Once stuck between what’s real and what’s wanted.

Longing for nothing more,

split between dark holes hidden in my soul and any light left to control.
First quarter birth revived me whole,

Onward, a new path to fold.
Feelings to dissipate, once tangled and left to fate.

The chilled air grasps me inside, glaring up I wait.

Dawn awaits..


Paralysis 

Sleep, a transition we fail to wake.

What is real? this suppressed ache I feel..

Dread now, pulling me under, away. swiftly to where I wonder?

Drowning now, panicked I reach for nothing to hold on to. Back under.

Lost in this dream again, reliving the same familiar hunger.

When will you be gone again?

Reappear.

As soon as I’ve lost you, forever ..you’re here to remind me.

This never ending nightmare, an infallible craving here.

That, or not feeling you near.

Never been so clear..


We were there, a lush green it seemed.

eyes, dark and trapping.

A trance so timeless,numbing.

Tick toc, like the rabbit searching for its clock.
Down we fell, again.. too close I feared.

Come back! You grabbed me.

I called to you, save me! No ones here.

tried to wake, drowning in covers.

an ignored, help.
Floated away, surrounded by covers.

Cold as dead, couldn’t wake up.

Can’t move.

Naked and under.


again now, gone away..

sailing through a haze.

Closer now, miles away.

For how long will this stay.

My brain it can’t, my soul it must!
Paralyzed for now, until the last eye shuts.


After Dark

last breathe, inhale..abrupt.
slowly you steal.

everything is still, time is not real.
Darkness,eternal to some.

A flight above with the stars and new wonders to some.
Who knows what’s next?

Only one, to trust and feel.
On and on forever,

will it be boring to kneel?
Painless pursuit, already dead and I’m alive.

Fading away fast, need to heal.


Nothingness. Not today, tomorrow, yesterday was never real.
A canvas of black with bright punctures,

gazing up at your wonders.

Curious, I’ve the need to soar and know it all evermore.


Dancing through dimensions together,

what will we be able to feel?

Fear, why does anything at all matter,

Now? What’s near?


Yet you speak to us, nudging us on.

This connection keeps us hoping it’s all real.

That you’ll be there for us, waiting after dark.

Even after the Fall.

You’ve always been Here.



New Moon🌑< i>Dark still, I can’t see< i>Fading in and out, trusting I can’t believe..< i>Numb and awake finally, I remember < i>falling fast downward into a dream.< i>Black as night, my mind racing fastcollapsed down beneath.< i> Swelling with pain, pain and defeat < i>Aching forward.. I staggered on to the light in retreat.< i>Unconscious to the hole in me,< i>bleeding red I feel as if the memories are dead.< i>Hours later, revived by the New Moon in me.< i>I forgot the pain you leave. < i>Comes and goes,< i>this transparent disregard. Regretful woes.< i>Not mine, to gone to be. < i>In this place, I no longer need, or grieve.< i>Enchanted by a higher plateau we cannot share.< i>Goodbye at best, to the darkness I lay to rest.< b>Waning crescent 🌘✨🌙 Taken again by this old dream,

smooth and dark as ever.

Reliving a wound,

familiar it seems..

A new phase is on the rise you see, almost upon the hour now it must be.

nostalgic by waning lust, it bleeds.

Seeps into the soul, it needs to feed.

Must we leave?

Time is not on our side, I see..

One day, one hour, one more embrace to plea?

We grieve.

drawing to an end, we deceived each other indeed. Illuminate  Stalking quietly through night’s sky,

You wait for me gallantly, illuminating in me full.

My destiny gazes onward, darkness fades behind now.

Illuminate this maze, an ever so distant haze..

Nights are to awake, grasping from this slumber.

Burn what is loss, light what is real.

Heaven only knows my fate is sealed.

and you never know my feel.<br<br

Just a touch, a caress to heal.

Your reach is boundless to my flee,

however far you may be.

Once encumbered with thoughts unreal,

sailing away in newness fulfilled.

The Evening’s Draw Someday you’ll regret it when I’m not there, some day you’ll get it.

But I’ll keep playing my part, more unattached at the heart.

Love isn’t two ways,

one gives and one receives. ewly discovered distortion,<br<br
grieves.<br<br
venient, not for you at all.

the trick is to bleed for them all.<br<br
m there always,

though only summoned to them at their call.

Sailing around the moon's cycle forever it seems,

what an endless dream.<br<br
ls, this endless dream.

it cannot be it cannot be.<br<br

not you care or need.

Comparing it is then,

this immensely unsatisfying need.<br

threading me along through time's fleeting seams..<br<br

n into truth of love and fall.<br<br

knows the rest.<br<br
he hole you breed,

I'll be gone when it's too late to see,

Talking, gone without words- that's closure.

Knowing nothing here to stand after all,

contingent at best this pointless stall.

I better take my loss,

before the evening's draw.

Silence  Sometimes I feel so alone.

I hold myself and cry, there on the floor.

I wish you could reach out and hold me yourself. sobs aren’t enough to drown out the silence.

It kills.

I know I’m not alone but sometimes I am.

Sometimes I only want someone to just hold me.

To just be there and hold me.

Even my heart, strong, needs hands to hold it sometimes.

I neatly fold my hands together and pretend it’s your warmth I feel.

I don’t want to be brave sometimes, I just want to stop and be held.

My perfectly placed smile, clothes, makeup dropping to the floor behind this closed door.

It encapsulates the real.

The silence steals me, winning as I fade into sleep.

Until tomorrow’s new light, a distraction of what’s real.

When the blood runs dry  Running down my leg

draining every last drop,

disgusted by what you see it to be

even when you’ve manifested it.

only when you’re not fucking it down to the last beat,

drunk in my own thought

the only thing escaping me from this hell,

loosing myself..

alone, and you will never go.<br<br
ry to the last drop

tossed and done

Mused, my soul undone

maddened by the trance we're in.<br<br
th down my throat

blood red thrusting me dead, dead, dead.

that pounding in your head,

needs to be fed.<br<br
od runs dry.

A stranger kind  It’s a stranger kind you know,

when autumn leaves go after flowers grow,

People you know fade into strangers

to an even stranger kind it’s seems so..<br<br
r adoration passing,

assured forever love, forgotten, ignored.

We get lost to each other, or bored,

Until we're strangers, a stranger kind.<br<br
anger's kind fills you,

enchanted by an unexpected joy,

with a touch your soul once did know.

A stranger kind though.<br<br
thing that of a stranger's kind,

how a light so unknowing warms you,

your souls seeing just that, ignite.

A stranger kind seeing, love is blind.

A stranger, kind nurtures you

more than just a stranger kind..

more than we've become a strangers kind.<br<br
just it though.

A stranger kind that is more raw to know.

When a stranger's kind, more than those you know. Killing ourselves  We kill ourselves slowly.

some others quickly

again and again

over and over.<br<br
the fire

flames driven by desire

times façade trapping us here

Killing us every day.

We kill in our sleep

In our waking thoughts.

scything ourhearts

killing the urge to feel

killing is better than pain.<br<br
k

the blood rushes down.

Killing the heart is a tricky thing

but not to those without one.

Gingerly implanting your incision

A killers neatly planned decision.

disturbing the souls bind

emasculating the mind, third eye.

killing awareness, feeding the blind.

Dreaming Reality Why did I dream that dream.

Inviting you back in.

You’re a fixation I can’t evade. I escaped from, but only in a dream.

Not even a drift in my head until now.

again, it’s coming as I try to pretend.

Aware or oblivious to your own flooding into my reality.

who knows this time?

either a sinister plea or an aligned appointment.

Hansom, dark deep eyes,falling into a never ending story.

That feeling you get when you’re falling down, down and you can’t stop it.

part of you enjoys the thrill but you know what comes next. You know better.

a soulful beckoning, ever longing but disastrous fate..or is it really?

Was that the dream, then? The bad part?

A nightmare redone into a joyful wish perhaps, this is..

This time it feels good. I almost want it.

like before but it feels right now.

The radiant returning ere embrace I can’t. ather exhilarating twinge fills my thoughts.

It was you. There, like a ghost or an angel haunting me.

Grabbed me by the soul, pulling me in and just said it. Just like that.

knowing me more than I could understand, with that look.

I stood dumbfounded.

Perched between taking the fall for good or

retreating back into myself. my dream.

My control you somehow broke into. Shattered anything I held concrete for now. An earthquake in my subconscious. left perplexed upon waking..

and what you left me in this dream-the hansom, warm, but dark longing pending.pending.pending.

 Nothing  Have you ever wanted to feel something just to feel nothing?

feel everything in a moment just to wash away the something that ended with nothing?

numbing never numbs it all the way. You still feel something and then maybe a new something..

But that’s the thing about nothing. It’s always something.

But we do it anyways.

always wanting something for nothing.

something always costs much more than nothing.<br<br
oonJune 1,2015 You awake me out of slumber, always there

we stare in still silence

knowing distance between us grows

no words escape my soul as I lay paralyzed beneath Your illuminating touch

i gaze deeper into You, a language of our own we share

hesitate..afraid to feed the hunger, we wouldn't dare..

Your fullness entraps me

it glows, my weakness bare

i can't see You are You still there?

always.

by morning You'll be gone. I'll still be there.<br<br
Gibbous it's a peculiar humor, the light that dances in through the window pain..

nostalgic.nearly..exactly here this phase!this time, this place.

exactly a month ago. exactly yes.

I wept.

the familiar luminous grasp that dragged me out of my sleep awakes me again.

in this bed it calls me out and into my head.

into the night I stare. at my soul, different now than it was.

not of the same pain or longing.

not of shame or hopeful embrace.

no weakness left to share..

instead, as it beckons me I stare.

just staring.

what is there

Places where the sky reignsNovember 2014 Sweet Corn stalks grow

Mountains adorned in snow

Sunlight chases down shadows cast

The moon awaits impatiently it’s turn

Eyes roam forever and beyond

Miles in the distance running past

Colors at play in their own dawn and day

Scent of life breathes into you

Places where the sky reigns  <<br<br
want is warmthMay 3rd, 2014 Warmth in the sun warmth in the snow

Warmth in the days junipers grow

Warmth that floods the heart to sow

Warmth that nobody ever knows

Warmth in the taste of sweet lovers owe

Toes curl underneath the covers glow

Warmth that weeps sorrows bow

Warmth that bleeds into dry bones to go

Warmth when the incense burn out and nights are dark

Warmth that comes and then it goes<br<br
What are we but sin,or death to sin

a raging current pressing through our souls

Born to die we seek his light and love abundantly

Blind to our own follis, we drift,we fade

He seeks us as we run

To his arms we return to the King of glory

To be human is to be vulnerable, honest to yourself about who you are, to show and accept love

My heart hurts the longer I wait

These chains we bear to hate

Love and loss perpetuated fates A Moment PassedI wrote this poem for two strangers I encountered a few weeks ago before heading on trip on the highway. I never got a chance to bless them but this poem is for them. I could t stop thinking about them and where they’ve been or where they were going. Always be grateful. It was late autumn,

in the evening.

the first real chill was in the air.

I pulled my scarf closer around my neck as I finished pumping gas.

thoughts filled with anxiousness to get back on the road.<br<br
able glance vibrated the area,

an unsaid ripple in the neatness of the day.

a couple by the looks of it-kind of rough descended from the grassy median across the street.

a man around, maybe 30 with brown hair tucked underneath a worn baseball cap,

his sweatshirt clung to his frail body.

the woman with him, arms linked to his loosely holding on.

her red hair, knotted up in a tangled bun.

fresh black circles rimmed both of her stoic eyes.<br<br
m shamefully staggering from car to car at the pumps.

they begged for some spare change.

already prisoners to defeat, they marched on.<br<br
urn.

embarrassed, I looked at them.

I recognized something in their deep, hollow souls.

an emptiness we all share in some form or another.

theirs just more visible.

we assure ourselves it's okay to look down on them, brushing them hurriedly away.

we don't allow ourselves to think further on it

Why? What happened there..<br<br
ind much difference between us if you stripped away all the shiny packaging, standing there with them..

Searching. Wandering. Asking.

I swallowed hard, looked down and confessed I had no cash to give.<br<br
I looked up at them,

they had already begun down the hill.

empty. hopeless. wandering.<br<br

looking around it seemed

no one was awakened by the moment that had just passed.<br<br
was more I did to help them.

I should have.

the moment passed and

now I wonder where they are.

But the moment passed.

I got in my car and proceeded to the highway.

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