These are just a few of my recent poems. Feel free to share your thoughts and annotations. Most are in free verse. I like the raw emotion that comes from the soul that way. It’s untouched by anything but our own thoughts
Mammoth, I miss you dearly
Mammoth, I miss you dearly
Running through your wilderness, below skies seizing every path for days.
Snow covered mountains, sleeping giants bigger than any being I could ever dream of.
Your valleys sinking vastly deep.
Disappear like the hearts I learned of there,
in summer nights beneath the stars clear show.
Your friendship longing, I dared capture in my caving heart there.
Forever you stay with my soul, deeply woven in a love that grows bare.
Never will I forget your lessons breathed in me, that mountain air..
Enchanted by a lake of convicts to see my reflection, changing ever so.
Above the moon..
7,000ft. a world of its own above earth’s petulant problems below.
Hot springs natural, and wild dreams of dancing with wolves and howling with the trees that come to life at night and stare.
Hard to breathe, your forsaken wilderness leaves us at its mercy to test.
Friends born together for this infinite journey,
we stagger to keep up with each step.
Lost in this desert, trees spinning above, we lift our plank every mile until we reach the rest.
Brought to my knees, leavin you behind me..
The longest ache I’ve felt, to let go of you.
darkest night I’ve had, deepest leap I regret.
I’m still in love with you, this place.
A hope lingers still to see your face.
Mammoth, I miss you dearly.
Blue eyes turned to grey.
The days pass early and nights come to stay.
Snow tickles the ground, not a touch to feel, no sound.
That bridge lies frozen over, nothing to turn back to now.
Onward we escape into New Years reign.
Begotten by this transfixed heart, it waits.
Cold and bare but sure to come alive again,
Once I’m there.
Almost everything burned down behind me
But I held on once more, a tear..I no longer care.
Elevated by submissive, delicate feminine light.
A shift in energy, my spirit quakes.
Same beckoning cycle the moon goes round,
A new horizon to lead me for now.
No more. No more pleading, I know what I must do. Never will I bow.
Denying it- agonizing at best.
A cannibal resisting its fixation..
Sourly brooding to yourself as night rips open the flesh so ripe to taste.
Unfathomable guilt to come giving in,
just a little..a reasonable trade for soul.
better pretend nothing happened,
walk away unscathed, teased in trans.
Hypnotic.Erotic rhythm, escaping uncontrolled.
Appears at the most opportune times,
Like a lion stalking it’s prey..
better to feed, relieved..
New light shown above, tilted.
A call to act. No more waiting, done waning.
Half asleep, half awake, a plunge to take.
Reborne to new light, fleeting memories leave only callous bruises now.
days lingered after new moon, I’m not the same at all.
Hard to recall what’s behind,
memory wiped clean, force myself to breathe.
Once i’de rather feel dead than trusting any last thread..
Rising now, healed and transformed.
Not afraid for what’s ahead, curious.
Beckoning..not dreading this transfiguration.
Once stuck between what’s real and what’s wanted.
Longing for nothing more,
split between dark holes hidden in my soul and any light left to control.
First quarter birth revived me whole,
Onward, a new path to fold.
Feelings to dissipate, once tangled and left to fate.
The chilled air grasps me inside, glaring up I wait.
Sleep, a transition we fail to wake.
What is real? this suppressed ache I feel..
Dread now, pulling me under, away. swiftly to where I wonder?
Drowning now, panicked I reach for nothing to hold on to. Back under.
Lost in this dream again, reliving the same familiar hunger.
When will you be gone again?
As soon as I’ve lost you, forever ..you’re here to remind me.
This never ending nightmare, an infallible craving here.
That, or not feeling you near.
Never been so clear..
We were there, a lush green it seemed.
eyes, dark and trapping.
A trance so timeless,numbing.
Tick toc, like the rabbit searching for its clock.
Down we fell, again.. too close I feared.
Come back! You grabbed me.
I called to you, save me! No ones here.
tried to wake, drowning in covers.
an ignored, help.
Floated away, surrounded by covers.
Cold as dead, couldn’t wake up.
Naked and under.
again now, gone away..
sailing through a haze.
Closer now, miles away.
For how long will this stay.
My brain it can’t, my soul it must!
Paralyzed for now, until the last eye shuts.
last breathe, inhale..abrupt.
slowly you steal.
everything is still, time is not real.
Darkness,eternal to some.
A flight above with the stars and new wonders to some.
Who knows what’s next?
Only one, to trust and feel.
On and on forever,
will it be boring to kneel?
Painless pursuit, already dead and I’m alive.
Fading away fast, need to heal.
Nothingness. Not today, tomorrow, yesterday was never real.
A canvas of black with bright punctures,
gazing up at your wonders.
Curious, I’ve the need to soar and know it all evermore.
Dancing through dimensions together,
what will we be able to feel?
Fear, why does anything at all matter,
Now? What’s near?
Yet you speak to us, nudging us on.
This connection keeps us hoping it’s all real.
That you’ll be there for us, waiting after dark.
Even after the Fall.
You’ve always been Here.
Dark still, I can’t see
Fading in and out, trusting I can’t believe..
Numb and awake finally, I remember
falling fast downward into a dream.
Black as night, my mind racing fast
collapsed down beneath.
Swelling with pain, pain and defeat
Aching forward.. I staggered on to the light in retreat.
Unconscious to the hole in me,
bleeding red I feel as if the memories are dead.
Hours later, revived by the New Moon in me.
I forgot the pain you leave.
Comes and goes,
this transparent disregard. Regretful woes.
Not mine, to gone to be.
In this place, I no longer need, or grieve.
Enchanted by a higher plateau we cannot share.
Goodbye at best, to the darkness I lay to rest.
Waning crescent 🌘✨🌙
Taken again by this old dream,
smooth and dark as ever.
Reliving a wound,
familiar it seems..
A new phase is on the rise you see, almost upon the hour now it must be.
nostalgic by waning lust, it bleeds.
Seeps into the soul, it needs to feed.
Must we leave?
Time is not on our side, I see..
One day, one hour, one more embrace to plea?
drawing to an end, we deceived each other indeed.
Stalking quietly through night’s sky,
You wait for me gallantly, illuminating in me full.
My destiny gazes onward, darkness fades behind now.
Illuminate this maze, an ever so distant haze..
Nights are to awake, grasping from this slumber.
Burn what is loss, light what is real.
Heaven only knows my fate is sealed.
and you never know my feel.
Or you will..
Just a touch, a caress to heal.
Your reach is boundless to my flee,
however far you may be.
Once encumbered with thoughts unreal,
sailing away in newness fulfilled.
The Evening’s Draw
Someday you’ll regret it when I’m not there, some day you’ll get it.
But I’ll keep playing my part, more unattached at the heart.
Love isn’t two ways,
one gives and one receives.
A newly discovered distortion,
my heart it grieves.
It’s not convenient, not for you at all.
the trick is to bleed for them all.
Even when I am there always,
though only summoned to them at their call.
Sailing around the moon’s cycle forever it seems,
what an endless dream.
Dividing souls, this endless dream.
it cannot be it cannot be.
yet not you care or need.
Comparing it is then,
this immensely unsatisfying need.
threading me along through time’s fleeting seams..
torn into truth of love and fall.
who knows the rest.
Unaware of the hole you breed,
I’ll be gone when it’s too late to see,
Talking, gone without words- that’s closure.
Knowing nothing here to stand after all,
contingent at best this pointless stall.
I better take my loss,
before the evening’s draw.
Sometimes I feel so alone.
I hold myself and cry, there on the floor.
I wish you could reach out and hold me yourself.
My sobs aren’t enough to drown out the silence.
I know I’m not alone but sometimes I am.
Sometimes I only want someone to just hold me.
To just be there and hold me.
Even my heart, strong, needs hands to hold it sometimes.
I neatly fold my hands together and pretend it’s your warmth I feel.
I don’t want to be brave sometimes, I just want to stop and be held.
My perfectly placed smile, clothes, makeup dropping to the floor behind this closed door.
It encapsulates the real.
The silence steals me, winning as I fade into sleep.
Until tomorrow’s new light, a distraction of what’s real.
When the blood runs dry
Running down my leg
draining every last drop,
disgusted by what you see it to be
even when you’ve manifested it.
only when you’re not fucking it down to the last beat,
drunk in my own thought
the only thing escaping me from this hell,
alone, and you will never go.
Sucking me dry to the last drop
tossed and done
Mused, my soul undone
maddened by the trance we’re in.
it runs smooth down my throat
blood red thrusting me dead, dead, dead.
that pounding in your head,
needs to be fed.
When the blood runs dry.
A stranger kind
It’s a stranger kind you know,
when autumn leaves go after flowers grow,
People you know fade into strangers
to an even stranger kind it’s seems so..
Once familiar adoration passing,
assured forever love, forgotten, ignored.
We get lost to each other, or bored,
Until we’re strangers, a stranger kind.
And then a stranger’s kind fills you,
enchanted by an unexpected joy,
with a touch your soul once did know.
A stranger kind though.
It’s a funny thing that of a stranger’s kind,
how a light so unknowing warms you,
your souls seeing just that, ignite.
A stranger kind seeing, love is blind.
A stranger, kind nurtures you
more than just a stranger kind..
more than we’ve become a strangers kind.
Maybe that’s just it though.
A stranger kind that is more raw to know.
When a stranger’s kind, more than those you know.
We kill ourselves slowly.
some others quickly
again and again
over and over.
We dive into the fire
flames driven by desire
times façade trapping us here
Killing us every day.
We kill in our sleep
In our waking thoughts.
scything our hearts
killing the urge to feel
killing is better than pain.
One more drink
the blood rushes down.
Killing the heart is a tricky thing
but not to those without one.
Gingerly implanting your incision
A killers neatly planned decision.
disturbing the souls bind
emasculating the mind, third eye.
killing awareness, feeding the blind.
Why did I dream that dream.
Inviting you back in.
You’re a fixation I can’t evade. I escaped from, but only in a dream.
Not even a drift in my head until now.
again, it’s coming as I try to pretend.
Aware or oblivious to your own flooding into my reality.
who knows this time?
either a sinister plea or an aligned appointment.
Hansom, dark deep eyes,falling into a never ending story.
That feeling you get when you’re falling down, down and you can’t stop it.
part of you enjoys the thrill but you know what comes next. You know better.
a soulful beckoning, ever longing but disastrous fate..or is it really?
Was that the dream, then? The bad part?
A nightmare redone into a joyful wish perhaps, this is..
This time it feels good. I almost want it.
like before but it feels right now.
The radiant returning ere embrace
But I can’t.
A rather exhilarating twinge fills my thoughts.
It was you. There, like a ghost or an angel haunting me.
Grabbed me by the soul, pulling me in and just said it. Just like that.
knowing me more than I could understand, with that look.
I stood dumbfounded.
Perched between taking the fall for good or
retreating back into myself. my dream.
My control you somehow broke into. Shattered anything I held concrete for now. An earthquake in my subconscious.
I’m left perplexed upon waking..
and what you left me in this dream-the hansom, warm, but dark longing pending.pending.pending.
Have you ever wanted to feel something just to feel nothing?
feel everything in a moment just to wash away the something that ended with nothing?
numbing never numbs it all the way. You still feel something and then maybe a new something..
But that’s the thing about nothing. It’s always something.
But we do it anyways.
always wanting something for nothing.
something always costs much more than nothing.
You awake me out of slumber, always there
we stare in still silence
knowing distance between us grows
no words escape my soul as I lay paralyzed beneath Your illuminating touch
i gaze deeper into You, a language of our own we share
hesitate..afraid to feed the hunger, we wouldn’t dare..
Your fullness entraps me
it glows, my weakness bare
i can’t see You are You still there?
by morning You’ll be gone. I’ll still be there.
it’s a peculiar humor, the light that dances in through the window pain..
nostalgic.nearly..exactly here this phase!this time, this place.
exactly a month ago. exactly yes.
the familiar luminous grasp that dragged me out of my sleep awakes me again.
in this bed it calls me out and into my head.
into the night I stare. at my soul, different now than it was.
not of the same pain or longing.
not of shame or hopeful embrace.
no weakness left to share..
instead, as it beckons me I stare.
what is there
Places where the sky reigns
Sweet Corn stalks grow
Mountains adorned in snow
Sunlight chases down shadows cast
The moon awaits impatiently it’s turn
Eyes roam forever and beyond
Miles in the distance running past
Colors at play in their own dawn and day
Scent of life breathes into you
Places where the sky reigns
All we want is warmth
May 3rd, 2014
Warmth in the sun warmth in the snow
Warmth in the days junipers grow
Warmth that floods the heart to sow
Warmth that nobody ever knows
Warmth in the taste of sweet lovers owe
Toes curl underneath the covers glow
Warmth that weeps sorrows bow
Warmth that bleeds into dry bones to go
Warmth when the incense burn out and nights are dark
Warmth that comes and then it goes
What are we but sin,or death to sin
a raging current pressing through our souls
Born to die we seek his light and love abundantly
Blind to our own follis, we drift,we fade
He seeks us as we run
To his arms we return to the King of glory
To be human is to be vulnerable, honest to yourself about who you are, to show and accept love
My heart hurts the longer I wait
These chains we bear to hate
Love and loss perpetuated fates
A Moment Passed
I wrote this poem for two strangers I encountered a few weeks ago before heading on trip on the highway. I never got a chance to bless them but this poem is for them. I could t stop thinking about them and where they’ve been or where they were going. Always be grateful.
It was late autumn,
in the evening.
the first real chill was in the air.
I pulled my scarf closer around my neck as I finished pumping gas.
thoughts filled with anxiousness to get back on the road.
an uncomfortable glance vibrated the area,
an unsaid ripple in the neatness of the day.
a couple by the looks of it-kind of rough descended from the grassy median across the street.
a man around, maybe 30 with brown hair tucked underneath a worn baseball cap,
his sweatshirt clung to his frail body.
the woman with him, arms linked to his loosely holding on.
her red hair, knotted up in a tangled bun.
fresh black circles rimmed both of her stoic eyes.
I watched them shamefully staggering from car to car at the pumps.
they begged for some spare change.
already prisoners to defeat, they marched on.
It came my turn.
embarrassed, I looked at them.
I recognized something in their deep, hollow souls.
an emptiness we all share in some form or another.
theirs just more visible.
we assure ourselves it’s okay to look down on them, brushing them hurriedly away.
we don’t allow ourselves to think further on it
Why? What happened there..
I couldn’t find much difference between us if you stripped away all the shiny packaging, standing there with them..
Searching. Wandering. Asking.
I swallowed hard, looked down and confessed I had no cash to give.
Regretfully, I looked up at them,
they had already begun down the hill.
empty. hopeless. wandering.
I felt sick.
looking around it seemed
no one was awakened by the moment that had just passed.
I wish there was more I did to help them.
I should have.
the moment passed and
now I wonder where they are.
But the moment passed.
I got in my car and proceeded to the highway.